Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
