Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
