Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
