I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
