sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
people are starting to question the shark bite story
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
