sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
