Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize