is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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