Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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