I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
