absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
