Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
