Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
