he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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