We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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