so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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