Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize