you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
