I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my being single is dangerous.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
