4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
