Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize