i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize