would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
