What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
