Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
