I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
