3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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