just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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