Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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