She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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