I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
