HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
