I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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