Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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