If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
