During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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