His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
