drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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