i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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