Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
