oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
