I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
