The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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