so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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