I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
