Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
