plz talk dirty to me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
