Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I miss vodka workout Fridays
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
