the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's blow job season.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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