nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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