Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
