Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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