I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
