my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
