This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
