what day is it and did you see me today?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
