We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
