Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
