The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
