i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
