I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
