When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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