Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
