If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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