I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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