I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
